A New Age by Waldo Historia

This historic event happened at the dawn of recorded time. About 6 in the morning, to be precise.

Ugh, coming back from a hunting trip in the hills, ran into the village with a pair of flintstones in his hands. (I'm going to control the urge to say that their names were Fred and Wilma). He was greeted by the elders and his brother, Lee. They were known as the Ugh-Lee twins.

Ugh had made a fantastic discovery. Getting down on his knees, he struck the flintstones together towards some dried leaves to set them ablaze. An errant spark torched the chief's hut. Before you could say, "Oh No!", a chain reaction followed, with the whole village and all the livestock going up in flames.

The Chief and elders looked at him with glaring eyes. Ugh mumbled the words that would, to this day, be used for the word 'fire'. "Fi" (Ohhh boy), and "er" (Am I in big doo-doo). Spelling was not a top priority in those early days.

Lee, always keen to make a quick buck, pulled out his trusty Swiss multi-purpose axe, and started carving up the carcasses. "Hey, we can invite the other villages over for a smörgåsbord. Charge 'em a couple of bucks a head. We'll have enough money to rebuild our village in no time. Maybe, we should use rocks this time."

Thus began the Stone Age. Lee went on to become one of the great architects of his day.

Ugh made his mark in history too. He became the first to be burned at the stake.



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